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odorekijin“The Art of Stealing”
chapter one
[East Country–Elijah’s Mansion]
Bradley: Hey, Eastie boy, whatcha doin’ out here?
Shino: Ah, it’s you Bradley. Have you seen that sea eagle sculpture already?
With its wings spread wide, it almost looks like it’d take flight here and now—and take a look at its talons–
Bradley: Wait. Don’t touch it.
Shino: Why not? …Don’t tell me—you sensed some kind of curse on it, isn’t it?
That’s strange, I don’t feel anything odd about it…
Bradley: Nah, rest easy. Only thin’ you gotta worry about is breakin’ it, ‘cause that's one helluva worthy piece we got here.
I’d buy at least five mansions in the finest estates of the West sellin’ that puppy off. Dunno why that guy even collects all these beauties if it’s to let ‘em gather dust in here.
Shino: Wow, I didn't expect that statue to be worth its weight in gold… Huh?
Wait, hang on—you said you’d sell it off? You’re not planning on stealing it, are you?
Bradley: Nope, though it ain’t like I wouldn’t have before; there’s jus’ no use in stealing it in this state.
Take a closer look. Y’see that scratch, almost as thin as a strand of hair, on the right side of its beak?
Shino: You’re right, I didn’t notice it… Maybe something scraped on it?
Bradley: Looks like it. The careless rascal that handled it clearly didn’t know what they had in their hands.
Ugh, damn it man. Lettin’ a perfectly fine piece to rot in here… These freaks gotta be fuckin’ blind.
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chapter two
[East Country–Elijah’s Mansion]
Shino: I don’t see any other damages besides that rough spot though?
Would it really lose all its value for a tiny scratch?
Bradley: ‘Course, prices increase an’ decrease proportionally to the item’s condition. Y’gotta save the finest pieces for the bigshots who’d pay a fortune for it.
A free tip from me to ya: y’need the skills and an expert eye to boot to pin those down. Try to remember that in the future, laddie-boy.
Shino: And here I thought bandits just had to pilfer whatever they found to call it a day.
You're meticulous. It’s almost like stealing is an art form to you.
Tell me more; I wanna know everything behind the craft of stealing.
Bradley: Oh? Never saw you as the kinda lad hot on learnin’ the tricks of my trade—weird, but sure.
Shino: Don’t get any weird ideas, I just want to know what a bandit like you thinks when they’re on the hunt.
I might use it as key intel to tighten up the Blanchett Castle and its surroundings’ security.
Bradley: Bah, I honestly didn’t expect anythin’ else to come outta yer mouth.
But yer smart an’ yer naturally cut out for that kinda job, I’ll give it t’ya. I dun’ mind makin’ time to give ya an accelerated course.
Shino: …Really? You would?
Bradley: Yeah, sure, why not; but learnin’ got a price, boy…
As long as you fork over proportional compensation, there will be tips an’ tricks to teach’ya.
But dun’ give me just any trinkets, you hear me? Y’gotta cover the sellin’ price of that eagle, with interest.
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episode story
“Tips & Tricks to Inflate Value”
[Wizards’ Manor–Lounge]
Akira: Looking back on that mission, I still can’t quite realise how eerie that mansion felt when we first stepped inside.
Bradley: Sure did, an’ with those battered statues scattered left an’ right? Wouldn’t make you feel at home one bit.
Aaah, damn it… I can’t stop thinkin’ about the tons o’ treasures that guy had hidin’ in ‘here, starin’ at him. I coulda sold some of ‘em off at a good price if we were playin’ by my rules.
Akira: Didn’t you just say they were in a poor state? Wouldn’t they sell for a mere penny then?
Bradley: Oh yeah, their price would take a nosedive fo’sure.
...Unless you capitalise on their flaws.
Akira: Capitalise…?
Bradley: Lemme paint the scene fo’ ya: let’s say Mithra gets hella pissed and smashes to pieces the wings of a statue.
I’d take advantage of the situation, throwing in a note with sum’n like: “Carefully fragmented by Mithra of the North,” an’ wait for profits to roll in.
If you put it on the Western market, y’can bet yer pants them stinkin’ rich folks would eat that up an’ shell out big cash to get their hands on it.
Akira: I didn’t know you could do that…
(He looks at things a little differently, but I guess being a smart businessman comes with the trade of leading a group of thieves…) (1)
(1) This line may be a reference to Bradley’s Affection story, chapter 8, in which Bradley denies the fact that he could have a business of his own, now too used to the bandits’ way of life. ↑
voice line
“I won’t rat out a certain trickster among us, but he ‘s laid traps in every nook an’ cranny of the Manor. You’d better watch out too– ...Heh, looks like ‘tis a bit late fo’ warnings. But hey, at least that look ain’t half bad on ya: eccentric an’ a li’l freaky on the edges—guess that’s err’thin’ that Halloween thingy wants from ya.”
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