Tokyo Color Sonic!! SS Intermediate point—Towa x Mirai

[odorekijin]

 

“I’m a dang useless loser”—or, at least, that’s the only thought that I could manage when the winner's announcement got dropped on us.

Honestly? I couldn’t care less about that title, I just couldn’t sit with the fact that I wasn’t able to make Sebumi the new KING.

In our dressing room, the words he had for me were awfully kind, gentle, yet just as brutally cruel—or, at least, that’s how they felt to me:

”It’s fine, you did your best.”

No, I need to reach higher grounds, I have to grow even better, stronger ‘cause, at the end of the day, I’ve got only two years left to prove myself.

*

“And put that heeere… Aight, done.”

With that, I sealed the cardboard box stuffed with clothes. I spun around, taking a look at the now emptied room and, with it, a sort of void caved in.

Although it may have only been six months, it was still half a year lived and spent together, where Sebumi and I stuck through thick and thin. Joy, sorrow, frustrations, anger: we’ve seen and shared it all, in this very room.

But it’s way too early to label them as mere memories yet.

(But we… we’re really leaving this place for good now, huh…)

While nostalgia was getting the best of me, loud footsteps came rushing down the hallway.

“Mirai-kun, I’m done…! And I, I did it… all by myself!” Sebumi ran up to me with sparkling eyes, phantom tail wagging behind.

“Oooh, good job hotshot! That’s awesome!”

“Woof woof!”

It has been a little over two weeks since Color Sonic ended. Today, we decided to pack away our things to send home, which Sebumi quickly did in less than an hour or so. I mean, he does have little stuff of his own to begin with, and I can’t deny that he has become very independent these days.

When we first started to live together, he was so clumsy, so awkward, I don’t even know how he survived for this long—yet now, six months later, he manages to do some cooking and laundry on his own.

It is as if watching your very own child, as handful and demanding as they are, leave the nest.

“Looks like you’re all set and ready to go back to Sapporo.”

“Hm-hm! I can clean, I can do the laundry, and I can cook a little on my own now.”

“I see, that’s good.”

It was as if Sebumi got to set himself free of his shackles with that very sentence, now able to move on—too quickly, actually.

(He doesn’t need my help anymore, and yet I keep on doing as if he does…)

A sharp pain caved within my heart.

I wished, I hoped, I wanted with all I had for him to be able to live on his own; now it just feels like Sebumi is becoming a completely different person, someone I can’t even recognise anymore.

He’s so, so far, and I can’t do a thing about it. I can only watch him drift further and further away, as if I’ve been left behind at the starting line.

(...I ain’t thinkin’ straight, that ain’t like me.)

I… I don't know what this feeling is.

“Mirai-kun.”

“Ah… Ma’ bad!”

“Are you okay? You look… off…”

“Let’s just say I’ve got lots on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Not tellin’ you.”

“...Meanie.”

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at Sebumi’s obvious frown and pursed lips. Tip-toeing to match his height, I messily ruffled his hair.

“Aw, c’mon, dun’ be a broody lil’ guy. Know what? I’ll getcha somethin’ to munch on as an apology!!”

“...Okay.”

“So, what d’ya feel like eatin’?”

“Woof Woof Cookies.”

“Cookies ain’t proper food though!”

“But it’s good…”

“Listen, you ain’t gonna grow big ‘n strong if you don't eat a proper meal!”

“But I don’t want to be taller… Even if I was your height, I wouldn’t…”

“...Point taken, yer enough of a beanstalk al-... Wait, hang on a sec’! That was hella rude!?”

“Hehe, it was… probably.”

“Ya cheeky little-”

I instinctively punched Sebumi’s shoulder as a joke, to which he swallowed a chuckle between playful complaints, asking me to stop. Suddenly, a thought overtook me:

(Come to think of it, he’s been laughing a lot more these days.)

Ever since I’ve known him, Sebumi has done nothing but sob and cry: I’ve spent days by his side, hoping that he would smile a little more. So if there's a day where Sebumi can feel even a little bit happy, even for a second, that would be more than enough for me.

“You should smile, you deserve to.”

“...Um- what? I don’t… understand…?” Sebumi looked at me, puzzled.

“ ‘N you best be smilin’ when you leave for Sapporo too.”

“...? Al, alright.”

“Good!”

——It’s fine, it’s enough—it should be—I did my best.

 

(Then why the hell am I so flipped out ‘bout all this?)

*

“Mirai-kun, you really look… off. I can feel it. Did something happen?”

The words thrown at me immediately prevented my chopsticks from feeding me. Swallowing a mouthful of rice, I smiled:

“C’mon, I toldja already! Nothing happened, I’m totes fine.”

“No. Liar. You’re different from the usual. I know.”

“Naaah, I’m not, no worries.”

“You are.”

“Nope, I’m not.”

“I said you are!!” A faint sigh escaped Sebumi’s lips, yet he did not budge from his seat.

“Hey-hey, calm down, what’s wrong with-”

“It’s you who’s not calm, Mirai-kun!”

“Haah?”

“Why do you look so worried? Did I… Did I do something wrong?

“W-worried? …Me?

“Yes, and for a while.”

“Worried”—the word echoed, unlocking something deep within.

(Ah, I get it… So I was just worried all along, huh…)

Everything seemed to add up, it made sense.

I was haunted by the mere thought of Sebumi no longer expecting anything from me, of him growing up and discarding me, running ahead with his life.

“I guess I was… Scared, probably.”

“Scared?”

“Yeah… You leaving me, that whole thing got me thinkin’ ‘n… Well, that really got me worked up ‘n’ worried y’know, so, yeah… That scared me.”

This pitiful situation was laughable, honestly, so much so that I choked on a snort.

“Yer tryin’ to start your life and do your own thing, ‘n yet I was feelin’ all lonely ‘n worried ‘n anxious so… Yeah, ma bad. Thanks fer the concern, but it's totes my own problem to deal with ‘n stuff, so dun’ worry ‘bout it.”

“...Wh, what… But that doesn’t make sense…”

“Huh?” I looked up, only to be greeted with Sebumi’s angry eyes.

“I was able to move forward only thanks to you, Mirai-kun. If it weren't for you being there, I wouldn't be able to even stand up.”

“...Sebumi.”

“I… I won’t go ahead all by myself. If you’re tired, then we’ll walk slowly, we’ll… we’ll take our time, together.”

“Hell nah, I’ll just be a burden to you.”

“Why?”

“ ‘Why’...? Well, I mean… Okay listen-”

“ ‘We are one’—that’s what you taught me, Mirai-kun.”

Sebumi got up from his seat and crouched in front of me.

“It’s okay to be anxious, you can be worried, it’s fine. But, um… At least tell me how… Tell me about your feelings. I don’t know if I can save you, but… I want to understand and feel with you… Whatever you’re feeling… I want to feel it too, together.”

Now clinging, Sebumi gently squeezed my leg.

“Um… You know, you’re all I have, Mirai-kun, and I don’t want to lose you. So… So don't get worried on your own, don’t leave me behind.”

Only now did I notice the teary gaze that was looking up at me—and upon closer look, even the hands that were grasping my legs were trembling.

That's when I finally remembered what is most important to him.

“Fu-... Fuhaha! Hahahah!”

“H-huh? Wh-What did I do?”

“Damn, I really was outta my mind there. I’m so dumb. Damn, no joke, I really forgot the most basic of all: you’re Sebumi Towa, the one ‘n only.”

From the moment I met him until now, he had always been alone and, quite frankly, the Sebumi sitting before me is probably a creation of my own will to help.

Sure, he has grown, he has changed, but he’s fundamentally still the same: he’s still that handful lad who can only give his unconditional, uncontrollable love back to me—that is my one and only buddy.

I slapped both of my cheeks a few times: “AAARGH, man! I'm still kinda bummed we got beat at the Color Sonic! But that ain’t like me!”

Sebumi looked at me, once again puzzled: I couldn’t blame the lack of telepathy between us for him to understand the ups and downs my mind went through.

“Ma’ bad, Sebumi! I’m fine now, I mean it! My batteries are all the way up now, ‘n it’s all thanks to ya!”

“Ah, uh, okay… I guess I’m… I’m glad for you…?”

“Haha, thanks!! When in doubt, I know I can always count on ya!! Thanks a bunch, seriously!!”

“U-um, you’re… welcome...?”

“Awright! Now we better finish dinner before it gets cold!!”

“…Wha- Did you… Did you hit your head somewhere…? You sound even more… off.”

When I’m worried, Sebumi gets worried. If I trip, Sebumi falls with me too. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I carry Sebumi Towa with me—and with him, everything that he represents. It’s that duty that fuels my passion and, once it’s set ablaze, I can only go forth.

Because we are, in the purest sense of the word, one.

“Hey, Sebumi.”

“Hm?”

“Next year, we’re gonna take the crown home, awright?”

Putting my fist out in front of him, Sebumi instantly matched my pose, his fist firmly standing strong in front of mine.

“You and me, together… Okay?”

The smile on Sebumi's face was the brightest, most dazzling I'd ever seen on him.

Fin.